Personalized Wedding Vows

By Anna Lynn Sibal

Many engaged couples who are preparing for their wedding day opt to write their very own personalized wedding vows rather than simply reciting the traditional vows these days. These couples feel that customized wedding vows, something that they themselves came up with, are more heartfelt and meaningful to them.

It is easy to decide to write your own wedding vows, but actually writing it may be another thing altogether. It is not uncommon for brides and grooms to get stumped with writer’s block when putting the words of their wedding vows on to paper. Getting over the obstacles to writing a good wedding vow is easy, however, if you know how.

First of all, you have to make sure that it is perfectly alright for you to make your wedding vows customized. Ask your fiancé/fiancée if he/she wants your wedding vows to be personalized. If it is okay with him/her, agree on whether you will make it just one vow that you will both recite, or if you two get to say different vows.

But before you do that, you ought to clear it up with your officiating priest or minister if you are allowed to say your very own written vows during the ceremony. In some religions, you see, personalized vows are not allowed.

Once you did the necessary checking with your intended and your officiating priest or minister, it is time to prepare your mind for writing down what you want for your wedding vows. You do not have to write it down all at once. What you need to do at this point is to simply reflect on what you wish to say to your intended as you face him/her at the altar.

What could aid you in your reflection is asking yourself a few questions about the person you are marrying. Ask yourself questions like those listed below and allow yourself to think freely on your answers.

  • What is the one thing that you like most about your intended?
  • When was it that you realized that this is the one person whom you wished to spend your life with?
  • Why do you think the two of you should marry?
  • How do you think marriage will impact your relationship?
  • What is the memory that you cherish most about your intended?
  • Is this upcoming wedding and marriage the one you have always dreamed about?

If it helps, write down your responses to these questions, or talk to a recording device. Later on, review what you have written down or recorded. This will help you a lot as reference in writing your vows.

People want to make their wedding vows look and sound pretty, so they add snatches from poetry and love stories, as well as quotations about love. You can do that if you want to, and there are plenty of websites out there that provide such resources – quotes, stories, passages, poems – that you could use for writing your wedding vows.

Remember that your wedding vows do not have to be intricate or verbose. In fact, the simpler it is, all the more it will be appreciated.

Once you have all you need for writing your wedding vows at hand, you are then ready to actually writing it down. As long as your wedding vows are a reflection of what you truly feel about your intended from the bottom of your heart, it will be just fine.